YNET Outline - Overcoming Stigma of Mental Illness

I strongly beleive in outlines. This is an outline for an article I wrote foe publication on YNET.

YNET Published Article - Background and link

1. Hospitals - psychologist first, israeli, i thought is would pass temporary, correct medicine cure me, introduction to what does it mean that i am mentally ill, and then the drs i third hospital that mental illness they ridiculed and belittled me for it, they didn't respect my opinion or questions even in my own care - that i didn't have a right to control my own life and didnt have an ability to decide for myself or be a partner in my own care, stayed in bed - thought forever, the stigma kept me in bed for four years until, with the right treatment, i was able to burst the personal stigma
2. Refused help because of the stigma - list of programs-  sister found a program for me - include conversations from our email exchanges, emphasize that i had not only internalized the stigma of mental illness, but because i had never been educated about universal respect, i assumed that someone who is mentally ill, that's a life sentence and i am doomed and no hope future or potential.  The illness defines me as a crazy person who should be ashamed of his identity and existence, i only have an ability to hurt people and embarrass them. It was one thing that i requested to attend my sister's wedding, the depression was the reason i had trouble functioning, and why my sister tried to get me help, it was the shame that kept me locked in a cave of my own creation to save me from the very real fear, failure and invalidation. So much so that i didn't even want help, the thought of leaving my home or getting help made me feel physical pain, in my head, my stomach and even gave me trouble breathing. I refused to shower, i tried to starve myself, and alternatively overate to just numb myself of any feeling and in the hope that maybe diabetes or a heart attack would bring an end to my suffering.
3. Work - everyday life experiences. Searched for money, and to get out into the world, but mostly because my dr advised it might help with some of the feelings of chaos and hallucinations and even the heachaches might be alleviated somewhat with a consistent schedule and having responsibility and accountability. First temporary job, didn't tell. Second job, disclosed with dr note that i can work, first they paid for vaccines, and their reason for not hiring me was on account of lack of need, but i wondered if it was because of mental illness, so next job i didn't tell, after three months, when people had a chance to get to know me, the almost universal reaction was, i would not have known and it is still hard for me to believe.
4. Reason for stigma, i continue to put on a show. Empathetic and understanding colleagues also have to get work done. Workplace culture needs that i would conceal my true feelings, continue to do so every day, and when asked how are you, to say, great, wonderful, and not, the world is spinning, i can't breathe, i feel like i'm having a heart attack. Personal experience, direct boss, used mental illness as a way to deride me without me having disclosed to him, the way he bang on furniture to scare me, yells at me, grab something from my hand, he would also say, are you unfocused, are you on pills, i happen to not be taking medicine, but only because i haven't found one that works for me. If i was, that is no way to talk to someone, ridicule them for needing some help. This reminds me of a powerful paragraph i wrote on my personal blog.
5. Finish with story that explains itself - how my family dr was so happy to hear that the psychiatrist said, i don't see why you need my help. For him, he was happy that i was “normal” because he respects me and wants the best for me, and i appreciated his belief in me, but as a patient who was suffering i was also frustrated that no dr can help me and that he didn't realize that frustration i was experiencing. This shows how complicated the stigma is and how it comes from the complexity of mental illness itself.
6. Amir, the director who invited me to give speeches, he said it best, the mental illness is real and a part of you, but it doesn't define you, and this is the message and mission of sal shikum, tzarchan noten sheirut and enosh, that people with mental illness have so much to offer to society, and we don't want their mental health challenges to stop them, and we definitely will not allow negative stigma to stand in their way either.

אני סובלת ממחלת נפש. זה רציני, זה מתיש וזה לא בדיחה. אני חכמה, אינטליגנטית ואינטלקטואלית. למדתי תואר מתקדם ועבדתי בקריירה במשך שנים רבות תוך כדי התמודדות עם מחלת הנפש, עד שהיא התגברה על חיי. אני לא נעלבת או נפגעת כי מר קימל השווה טיפשות עם מחלת נפש, אני עצובה. מחלת הנפש נהייתה כל כך סנסציונית ואפנתית. אנשים מרגישים שזה נותן להם ערך לומר שיש להם מחלת נפש או מעלה את הרמה שלהם אם הם עובדים עם חולי נפש, אבל זה רחוק מהמציאות. הסיבה שיש סטיגמה למחלת הנפש, סטיגמה שמונעת אנשים מלקבל עזרה, עזרה שהם זקוקים לשיקום ולתת להם אפשרות לבנות חיים של משמעות. הסטיגמה המסוכנת הזאת היא תוצאה של חוסר ידע בדבר, אך, חוסר ידע ​​ שמפיצים מתוך תת רצון להבין. מחלת נפש משפיעה על אנשים מכל רקע פוליטי, תרבותי, חברתי-כלכלי ודתי. אני אשמח לבוא על הסדרה שלך ולדבר על המציאות של מחלת נפש, במיוחד, להסביר לקהל שלך שזה תופעה אמיתית, נכות שמגבילה, אבל זה לא גזר דין מוות. יש תקווה וטיפול, ומחלת הנפש שלי היא חלק ממני, אבל זה לא מגדיר אותי.